


Future Days

by blondiepepper



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:14:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25386640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blondiepepper/pseuds/blondiepepper
Summary: ||oneshot||"If I ever were to lose youI'd surely lose myselfEverything I have found, dearI've not found by myselfTry and sometimes you'll succeedTo make this man of meAll my stolen missing partsI've no need for anymoreI believeAnd I believe, 'cause I can seeOur future daysDays of you and me"
Relationships: Dina & Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	Future Days

**Author's Note:**

> spoilers from the last of us 2  
> just opening my heart after such an incredible game

She could still taste the sweetness of her beloved's lips. Her touch, soft but firm, firm enough to make Ellie fall asleep but not keep this sleep for the entirety of the night. Dina was confident, even though she was shattered inside, she remained strong, for Ellie, for J.J, but Dina wasn't Ellie and Dina had not witnessed the person who cared for her the most, having his skull opened before her eyes, with the drops of blood flying towards her skin, the smell of blood, wet, sticky, dripping to her body, mixing with sweat, the mouth dry and painful by the cry of someone knows that there is no way back in time.

Time.

Of a watch that didn't work, the memory of a story that wasn't hers, but his. It was what was left, beyond the memories, trapped in her arm, hanging from one side to the other, not firm enough because her wrist was at least half the size of Joel's. She lost count of how many times she looked at that clock, hoping that one day she would wake up and everything would be like before. But time, it doesn't come back and promises had to be kept, at least that's what Ellie believed.

She loved Dina, obviously she did, a love so great that she believed for months, that only it would heal her pains and calm her traumas, that her love would be enough to drive away her nightmares, to finally move on, without bitterness, without resentment, without the thirst for revenge, aching. But the nightmares wouldn't stop, they'd come and mess up her mind in a kind of post-traumatic stress disorder. Maybe if they lived in a different universe, if life didn't depend on survival, if there were still psychologists and medications, Ellie would have moved on, it would have been a long, hard, painful, laborious process, but that wasn't the world she lived in, was it? No, far from it, the only way she could get peace would be with revenge, at least that's what Ellie believed.

She wanted revenge, but most of all, she wanted to get her life back that it wasn't, it wasn't perfect, but it was definitely better than what she was living today.

If she could go back to her birthday, inside that museum, with her headset, the astronaut helmet and Joel by her side, she would come back, without thinking twice. She'd rather live in the loop of her youthful innocence, for eternity, than live one day after another, after Seattle.

She tried, she tried so hard that every inch of her body hurt, in a constant state of exhaustion, trying tirelessly to overcome, as Dina wanted, as they both needed. But she couldn't, she felt as if she was betraying Joel, throwing away everything he had done for her, turning his existence into a memory of disgust, dishonor. She needed revenge, she needed the justice she so dreamed of, she needed to take away the fucking pain that had lodged in her chest and insisted on carrying her down. She needed to be free. She needed to breathe.

And for a moment she almost believed it, for a brief second, in her head everything finally made sense, the pieces of the puzzle had fit and she had reached her goal, with her hands around her enemy's neck, watching her choke on the salt water that would burn her throat until it flooded her lungs and ended up with any trace of air, just like Joel, drowning in his own blood.

But that second was soon gone, as fast as the loss of her fingers, as fast as the feeling of victory that shattered like a piece of paper into the fire. She felt as if she was drowning, her thirst for vengeance had taken everything she loved most, had taken lives from people she cared about, traumatized those who had always treated her with such affection.

And with her hands still around Abby's neck, with her blood mixing, diluting with the water, she realized that she had fucked everything up and there was no turning back.

She watched her leave, just as Dina heard the door close, saying goodbye to the only chance for happiness that Ellie would have after all the chaos, after Seattle.

Bathed in memories, Ellie thought of days of the past, wishing those were her future days, days with Joel days with Dina, remembering the warmth of Joel's embrace and the sense of security, the peace that was brought by his embrace. And with the guitar in her hands, failing to play the notes of the song that Joel had taught her, she looked at the clock once again, realizing that not even vengeance can make time go back.


End file.
